By Maria Barciela • Almost Local
What does culture shock in New Zealand actually feel like?
Not the obvious kind.
Not just the language, the paperwork, or driving on the other side of the road.
But the quieter emotional shifts that slowly happen after moving abroad.
The kinds of changes you barely notice until years later — or sometimes until you leave and come back again.
After living in New Zealand for almost ten years, spending some years in the Netherlands in between, and recently returning again, I’ve started realizing how much this country has shaped me in ways I never expected.
At Almost Local, I’ve started calling these:
🌍 Almost Local Truths.
Small emotional truths about life abroad that many internationally mobile people quietly recognize once they’ve lived between cultures long enough.
You can continue reading below, or also listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or directly here on the blog.
🌿 New Zealand Changes You Slowly… and Then Suddenly
I think one of the reasons I notice culture so much is because I didn’t grow up in just one place emotionally.
I grew up between Mar del Plata in Argentina — which honestly has a much slower rhythm than Buenos Aires — and Rio de Janeiro in Brazil.
Later, I moved to Buenos Aires at 16, where I spent many of my university and adult years, worked, and where we built much of our adult life before moving abroad when our kids were still very little.
So even before moving internationally as an adult, I think I was already used to navigating different rhythms, energies, and ways of living.
And then we moved to New Zealand in 2016.
And honestly?
At first, I was shocked.
I remember seeing children barefoot everywhere.
Adults barefoot at supermarkets.
People casually moving through life with this calmness that felt completely foreign to me.
Little by little, without realizing it, I started adapting too.
Now?
I’m barefoot all the time.
I once went back to Buenos Aires for work and remember sitting in an office desperate to take my shoes off.
And I actually did.
But culture goes much deeper than habits.
☕ Friendship and Friendliness Are Not Always the Same Thing
One thing many expats and immigrants notice in New Zealand is this interesting contradiction:
👉 Kiwis are often incredibly friendly…
but building deep friendships can sometimes feel slower than expected.
At first, this confused me.
People were warm.
Kind.
Helpful.
But I sometimes struggled to understand where I stood relationally.
In Argentina, even today, when you arrive at a gathering or barbecue, people greet everyone individually with a kiss hello.
Conversations are expressive.
People interrupt each other constantly.
Emotions are visible.
Friendships often form quickly and intensely.
In New Zealand, I slowly realized that friendliness and friendship are not always the same thing.
And honestly?
I don’t think this is because people are cold.
After reading parts of Erin Meyer’s The Culture Map, I started reflecting more deeply on how different cultures communicate, build trust, express disagreement, and navigate relationships differently.
Kiwi culture often feels emotionally softer.
Less confrontational.
More understated.
People give each other space.
And while that can feel emotionally safe in many ways, it can also feel lonely initially for people arriving from more socially immediate cultures.
Especially as adults.
Especially when rebuilding life abroad.
🌊 New Zealand Almost Forces You to Slow Down
Another thing I’ve noticed about life in New Zealand is that the country itself almost forces you to slow down emotionally.
I don’t think I fully understood this until we left.
Living in Europe felt exciting.
Stimulating.
Fast.
Connected to everything.
Returning to New Zealand recently felt almost physical.
The quiet.
The nature.
The space.
The distance from the rest of the world.
At first, I remember thinking:
“Wow… this is slow.”
But then slowly I realized:
maybe my nervous system needed slow.
And this is something I’ve heard repeatedly from other women living abroad too — especially after burnout, motherhood, big transitions, or constantly pushing through busy international lives.
New Zealand creates space.
And sometimes that space feels beautiful.
And sometimes it also forces you to sit with yourself in ways that can feel confronting.
🌍 Belonging Is Emotional, Not Geographical
I think one of the hardest truths about expat life in New Zealand is this:
You can deeply love this country…
and still feel lonely here.
And honestly?
That contradiction can feel difficult to explain to people who have never lived abroad.
Because from the outside, life here can look almost perfect.
The beaches.
The mountains.
The lifestyle.
The calm.
And yes — those things are real.
But beauty does not automatically create connection.
Building community takes time.
Friendship takes intention.
Belonging takes emotional continuity.
And I think that’s one of the reasons I started Almost Local in the first place.
Because I realized so many women were quietly navigating these same emotional contradictions:
- Where do I belong now?
- Who have I become after moving countries?
- Why do I feel changed?
- Why do I sometimes miss places I no longer want to live in?
And maybe there’s nothing wrong with us.
Maybe living between cultures simply changes us deeply.
✨ Returning to New Zealand Felt Stranger Than Leaving It
One thing I didn’t expect after living in Europe was that returning to New Zealand would feel stranger than leaving it.
Because I had changed too.
I came back:
- more direct
- more impatient
- more European somehow
And suddenly, I found myself missing things I once struggled with.
I missed Dutch directness.
The energy.
The stimulation.
And that’s when I realized something important:
👉 Sometimes culture shock is not only about arriving somewhere new.
Sometimes culture shock is realizing you changed while you were away.
🌿 The Biggest Almost Local Truth
Maybe this is the biggest Almost Local Truth of all:
🌍 Life abroad is not only about discovering new countries.
It’s about slowly discovering new versions of yourself.
And some parts of you never fully return to who they were before.
🎧 Listen to the Full Episode of the Almost Local Podcast – Stories of Life Abroad
If you’ve ever:
- felt lonely in a beautiful place
- struggled to rebuild community abroad
- experienced reverse culture shock
- questioned where “home” truly is
This episode will probably resonate deeply.
🎙️ Listen to the Almost Local Podcast:
[Insert Spotify / Apple / Embed]
💬 A Question for You
What part of yourself changed most after moving abroad?
I’d genuinely love to hear your reflections.
You can share them in the comments or join our Almost Local community conversations online.
🌍 Join the Almost Local Community
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