Welcome back to Almost Local.
My name is Maria, and I’m writing to you from Auckland, New Zealand.
If you’re new here, I’m really glad you found this space. Almost Local is more than a blog — it’s a community for expats and migrants navigating life in New Zealand, and for anyone living between cultures, countries, and identities.
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As 2025 comes to a close, I’ve been reflecting deeply on what this year has meant — not just as an expat returning to New Zealand, but as a person rediscovering a place that once felt like home… and now feels different again.
This is a story about returning, reverse culture shock, and learning to sit in the In-Between.
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Coming Back to New Zealand After Living Abroad
For those who don’t know my full story, here’s some context.
I’m originally from Buenos Aires, Argentina. In 2016, my husband and I moved to New Zealand with our two young children, who were then 3 and 5 years old. We built a life here in Auckland — friendships, routines, school drop-offs, everyday rituals.
In 2022, following the pandemic and amid a period of global uncertainty, we relocated to the Netherlands. We spent three years there, learning a completely different rhythm of life.
And in 2025, we returned to New Zealand — to our old house, familiar streets, and a country that already held so many memories.
Our children are now teenagers.
We returned to the same place, but we are no longer the same people who left.
Landing at Auckland Airport felt strangely emotional. Navigating familiar terminals, catching the same shuttle, driving through neighbourhoods we once knew so well — it all felt comforting. And yet, small details stood out immediately.
The darker streets at night.
The quiet.
The contrast with Europe’s constant lights and movement.
It was familiar — but not identical.
Home, but not quite the same.
Yoy may also be interested in Reading 👉 Living as Expats in New Zealand
Reverse Culture Shock: When Returning Feels Harder Than Leaving
What I didn’t fully expect was how intense reverse culture shock would feel.
Reverse culture shock happens when you return to a place you once called home, but you’ve changed in ways that aren’t immediately visible. Many expats say it can feel even harder than the initial move abroad — and now I understand why.
I experienced:
- self-doubt
- emotional exhaustion
- comparison (even when I didn’t want to)
- grief for the life we had in Europe
- a strange sense of not fully belonging here or there
Despite being entirely sure about our decision to return to New Zealand, I found myself thinking, almost immediately after landing:
“What did we do?”
That doubt didn’t mean the decision was wrong.
It meant my nervous system was catching up.
“Why Did You Come Back?” — The Question That Followed Me
One of the most emotionally complex parts of returning was answering the same question over and over again:
“Why did you come back?”
“What happened?”
As if returning to New Zealand must mean something went wrong elsewhere.
At first, I answered thoughtfully.
Then it became automatic — like a rehearsed, logical explanation on repeat.
What I realised later was that some people weren’t really asking about us.
They were looking for reassurance.
Reassurance that New Zealand was still “the right choice.”
Reassurance that staying made sense.
Reassurance that coming back meant safety, not failure.
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Belonging, however, is rarely a logical decision.
It’s emotional.
And it’s hard to explain in a neat sentence.
Returning to a New Zealand That Has Changed
Another truth worth naming:
New Zealand in 2025 is not the same New Zealand we left in 2022.
There’s been economic pressure, political change, and the ripple effects of global uncertainty — just like in many countries around the world.
We didn’t return because everything here is perfect.
We returned knowing New Zealand, like many places, is navigating its own challenges.
Loving a country doesn’t mean ignoring reality.
It means choosing it with awareness.
Relearning Life in New Zealand (And Comparing — Even When You Try Not To)
Living in the Netherlands changed us in subtle ways.
We became used to:
- efficiency
- directness
- cycling infrastructure
- less formality
- fewer rules
So yes — I still struggle with how little respect cyclists get here (and I may never fully recover from living in the most bike-friendly country in the world).
Things that once felt normal now feel strange:
- school uniforms
- signs for everything
- the sense of being “looked after.”
This isn’t criticism — it’s re-adjustment.
When you return, you don’t come back empty-handed.
You come back carrying another country inside you.
The Post-Birth Shock of Returning Home
I once described this phase to a close friend as something similar to post-birth shock.
Not depression — but that moment when you bring a baby home and think:
“What just happened?”
You’re expected to function.
To resume life.
To look normal.
But internally, everything is recalibrating.
Returning to New Zealand felt like that.
A long emotional jet lag.
One that doesn’t resolve in days, but in months.
Falling in Love With New Zealand Again
What I didn’t expect was this:
I had to fall in love with New Zealand again.
Not the New Zealand of the past — but the New Zealand of now.
Slowly, quietly, it happened:
- through nature
- through space
- through humour
- through community
- through kindness
One day, I noticed something simple but powerful.
I was smiling more.
Maybe because this time, I get the jokes.
And after trying to decode humour in Dutch… that feels like a minor miracle.
Belonging didn’t rush back.
It grew gently.
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Living in the In-Between as an Expat in New Zealand
This year reminded me that growth happens in the In-Between.
Between countries.
Between versions of ourselves.
Between past and future homes.
If you’ve returned to New Zealand after living abroad — or if you’re navigating life as an expat or migrant here — know this:
It’s okay if it feels layered.
It’s okay if it takes time.
It’s okay if home feels familiar and foreign at once.
Thank you for being here, for reading, and for being part of the Almost Local community.
If this story resonated, I’d love for you to:
- leave a comment
- Share it with someone living in the In-Between
- Listen to the related podcast episode
I’ll see you in the next entry as we close the year and step into a new chapter of life in New Zealand.
For now — I’m off for a coffee. ☕
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