Living abroad changes you in ways you don’t always expect.

At first, it might feel exciting — a fresh start, a new country, a different lifestyle. But over time, many expats and immigrants begin experiencing something harder to explain: the feeling of living between worlds.

Recently on the Almost Local podcast, I sat down with Heike, originally from Germany and now living in New Zealand for over 13 years. Together, we explored the emotional side of building a life abroad — from culture shock and homesickness to identity, belonging, motherhood, friendships, and learning how to feel at home in more than one place.

And honestly, so much of what she shared reflects the quiet emotional journey many people living abroad experience.

You can continue reading the story here on the blog, or also listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or below.

🌍 Living Abroad and the Question of Belonging

There’s a moment many of us experience after moving overseas that’s difficult to put into words.

You slowly settle into routines.
You learn the roads.
You become more confident speaking another language.
You start creating a life that feels more familiar.

And then something shifts.

Maybe you go back home for a visit.
Maybe family comes to see you.
Maybe you suddenly realize you no longer feel exactly the same as when you first arrived.

And the question appears:

Where do I actually belong now?

For many expats, migrants, and internationally mobile families, this emotional “in-between” becomes part of everyday life.

👉 If this resonates, you might also enjoy:
The Expat Dilemma: 5 Biggest Challenges of Life Abroad

⚖️ The Main Dilemma: Belonging vs Fitting In

One of the biggest themes from my conversation with Heike was the difference between belonging and simply fitting in.

After living in New Zealand for over a decade, Heike shared that some days she genuinely feels she belongs — especially through community, school life, friendships, and nature.

But other days, she still feels aware that her roots in New Zealand are newer and different.

And honestly, I think many people living abroad understand this deeply.

You can build a beautiful life somewhere new while still missing parts of home.

You can feel connected and disconnected at the same time.

You can love your new country and still grieve what you left behind.

💡 Key Lessons from Living Abroad

1. Living Abroad Changes Your Confidence

One of the most powerful reflections Heike shared was how much living abroad changed her confidence over time.

When she first arrived in New Zealand, she was navigating motherhood, a language barrier, and a completely different environment. Even simple things like making conversation or shopping for familiar food felt overwhelming.

But slowly, through daily life and repeated small acts of courage, she became more confident and open to new experiences.

Living abroad pushes us outside our comfort zone in ways that eventually reshape how we see ourselves.

2. Expectations vs Reality

Before moving to New Zealand, Heike had already traveled here and fallen in love with the country.

But building a life somewhere is very different from visiting.

One unexpected challenge? The famous Kiwi winter houses.

Coming from Germany, she was surprised by how cold New Zealand homes felt indoors during winter — something many Europeans and Latin Americans can probably relate to immediately.

It was a reminder that culture shock often appears in the small, everyday moments we never anticipate.

New Zealand offered Heike a new experience: moving from Germany meant living by the ocean, the mountains, and the bush; being surrounded by nature every single day was a new discovery.

3. Community Matters More Than We Realize

One of the most beautiful parts of our conversation was discussing the importance of community while living abroad.

Heike spoke about how the New Zealand school system helped her feel connected — not only for her son, but for herself as a parent navigating a new culture.

Over time, school life, local friendships, volunteering, and everyday interactions slowly became part of her sense of belonging.

And honestly, this is something that came up repeatedly during our recent Almost Local gathering in Auckland too:

People need connection.
People need community.
People need spaces where they feel understood.

Especially while living far away from home.

4. Homesickness Evolves Over Time

One thing I found incredibly interesting was how Heike described homesickness after many years abroad.

In the beginning, leaving Germany felt extremely painful.

Now, while she still misses family and friends deeply, homesickness no longer has the same emotional power over her.

Instead of constantly searching for a replacement version of “home,” she slowly began creating a new version of it in New Zealand.

That shift — from missing home to choosing here — felt incredibly powerful to me.

5. Professional Identity Can Shift Too

Another important reality many expats experience is professional reinvention.

Before moving to New Zealand, Heike worked in finance in Germany. After relocating, she faced the challenge many immigrants know well: rebuilding professional identity from zero.

Over time, she explored different opportunities, volunteering, new environments, and eventually reshaped her career path.

Living abroad often changes not only where we live, but also how we work, what we value, and who we become professionally.

6. You Start Creating a New Definition of Home

One of the most moving parts of our conversation was when Heike explained the difference between returning to Germany and returning to New Zealand.

Germany still feels deeply familiar and emotionally rooted.

But New Zealand became something different:
a place she consciously chose, built, and slowly turned into home.

As she beautifully shared during the episode:

“In Germany, I feel home; in New Zealand, I make myself home.”

And honestly, I think that captures the emotional reality of life abroad perfectly.

👤 About Heike

Heike is originally from Germany and has been living in New Zealand for the past 13 years after moving with her husband and young son for what was initially meant to be a one-year expat experience.

Her story reflects the emotional evolution many people experience while living abroad — navigating identity, homesickness, belonging, motherhood, language, and the quiet process of building a life between two places.

Through her journey, Heike shares a thoughtful perspective on what it means to slowly create a sense of home far away from where you started.

📍 Based in: New Zealand
🌍 Originally from: Germany
🎙️ Featured on the Almost Local Podcast

🎧 Listen to the Full Conversation

If you’ve ever:

Questioned where you belong
Felt torn between countries
Experienced culture shock
Tried to rebuild your identity abroad
Wondered if homesickness ever changes

This episode will resonate deeply.

🎙️ Listen here:
Almost Local Podcast

💬 A Question for You

Living abroad changes you in ways you don’t expect.

What has been the hardest — or most meaningful — part of your own journey abroad?

From Germany to New Zealand – Belonging Across Borders