By Maria | Almost Local
Estimated read time: 6–7 minutes
If you’ve ever packed up your life and started over somewhere new — in another city, another country, or another version of yourself — you know it’s never just about boxes.
It’s an emotional journey.
A slow process of letting go, starting over, and learning to belong again.
Over the years (and moves), I’ve realized that this process follows a rhythm — six deeply human stages that almost everyone who moves abroad will recognize.
🎧 Listen to the full episode of the Almost Local podcast → [Spotify / Apple / Website link]
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Stage 1: The Decision — Taking the Leap to Move Abroad
It always starts with the decision — and it’s rarely simple.
You go back and forth for months. You make lists, talk it over endlessly, and wonder: Is this the right move?
When you have kids, it feels even heavier — you’re not just changing your own life, but theirs too.
But here’s the truth: there’s no perfect time, and no way to predict the future.
Sometimes, you just have to take that first step — jump, go for it, and trust that you’ll find your way.
If you’re in this stage, you might like:
👉 Relocating to New Zealand: What We Learned Along the Way
Good things are coming! One can only hope!
Stage 2: The Goodbye — Letting Go of One Home
Goodbyes are always the hardest part of moving abroad.
You try to stay strong, but you never really know if you’ll see everyone again.
When our last move came around, I couldn’t face a farewell party.
My birthday was a month before leaving, so I turned it into a celebration instead — my quiet way of saying goodbye without saying it.
It sounds small, but it helped.
Because every goodbye carries a little grief — and a quiet hope for what’s next.
If this resonates, read:
👉 Coming Home: A New Edge of Place
Stage 3: The Chaos — When Everything Feels Foreign
Boxes upon arrival in Auckland, New Zealand.
I call this one the Ikea stage.
You’ve landed, but nothing feels easy. Every small task — buying groceries, setting up utilities, learning the local rules — feels like a marathon.
It’s like walking with a stone in your shoe. Always uncomfortable. Always reminding you that you’re far from home.
But then, one day, you realize: you’ve been walking with that stone for weeks, and it’s suddenly… gone.
If you’re feeling stuck in this phase, check out:
👉 A Free Journaling Workbook to Help Expat Women Navigate Life Abroad
Stage 4: The Adjustment — Finding Your Rhythm Abroad
This stage feels like that first sunny day after a long winter.
You can breathe again. You find your rhythm — your favorite café, your route, your first new friend.
You might still be wary, waiting for the next challenge — one more form, one more lost document — but slowly, the chaos softens.
You begin to feel the shift: you’re no longer surviving; you’re living.
If you’re building your new community abroad, explore:
👉 20 Tips for Expats Building Community Abroad (That Actually Work)
Stage 5: The Belonging — Feeling at Home Abroad
And then one day… belonging arrives.
It doesn’t come with a big moment or a milestone. It arrives quietly — in conversations, routines, shared laughter.
You find your people. You have inside jokes again. You start calling this place “home,” even if it’s still temporary.
Now that I’m back in New Zealand, I see how quickly these stages can overlap.
Just last week, I was invited to three Halloween parties — and the next day, someone reminded me I still hadn’t registered with the local GP.
Just when I think I’m almost local again… paperwork brings me back to reality.
If you love this reflection, read:
👉 Biking Worlds: Lessons on Belonging Abroad
Stage 6: The In-Between — Living Between Two Homes
A cafe in The Hague, The Netherlands, where we lived for three years.
This is the final stage — and the one that never truly ends.
The in-between is about accepting that you may never feel 100% from one place again — and that’s okay.
It’s learning to hold multiple homes, languages, and identities in your heart at once.
It’s where growth and connection blend together.
For me, this stage feels softer now.
Like I’m learning to hold all the versions of myself with a little more grace.
If you’re navigating your own transitions, don’t miss:
👉 Why I Created Almost Local: The Expat Dilemma
💬 Which Stage Are You In?
Whether you’re making the decision, saying your goodbyes, or finding your people again — your story matters.
Leave a comment or send me a message on Instagram — I’d love to hear from you.
🎧 Listen to the full episode → [Spotify / Apple / Website link]
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