Moving abroad is more than a logistical transition — it’s an emotional one.
Listen to the new Episode of the Almost Local Podcast: “Two Suitcases: What We Leave & What We Carry.”
At our first Almost Local workshop in Auckland, New Zealand, 14 women gathered to reflect on what life abroad really asks of us. Some had just arrived. Others had been living in New Zealand for more than 20 years. All of them had one thing in common: they knew that moving countries changes more than your address.
It changes you.
During our session, we explored a simple but powerful question:
What did you carry with you when you moved — and what did you leave behind?
What unfolded was an honest conversation about confidence, comfort, identity, and rebuilding ourselves while living abroad.
Living Abroad in New Zealand: A Multicultural Room, A Shared Experience
Our Almost Local workshop brought together women from Argentina, Brazil, South Africa, Germany, Chile, and New Zealand. Different languages. Different migration stories. Different reasons for moving.
Yet despite those differences, there was a quiet recognition in the room.
Whether you’re newly navigating Kiwi English, adjusting to social codes, or raising children in a culture different from your own, expat life in New Zealand carries invisible layers.
We often talk about visas, jobs, and housing when we talk about moving abroad.
But we rarely talk about what happens internally.
What We Leave Behind When We Move Abroad
In our suitcase exercise, many women mentioned the obvious things: family, friends, Sunday lunches, and familiar food.
But one woman said something that stayed with all of us:
“I left my confidence.”
And the room went completely quiet.
Because confidence isn’t just personality.
Confidence is context.
It’s knowing how humor works.
It’s understanding when to hug and when to shake hands.
It’s being fluent in unspoken social rules.
It’s feeling understood without having to explain yourself.
When we move countries, that context disappears.
Even the most capable, educated, experienced women can suddenly feel unsure. Smaller. Quieter.
Living abroad often means rebuilding confidence from the ground up.
The Emotional Reality of Moving Countries
Several themes emerged from the workshop:
1. Social Adaptation Takes Energy
Learning new social norms — from communication styles to workplace expectations — requires constant adjustment.
2. Language Affects Identity
Even when we speak English fluently, dialects and cultural references can create subtle barriers. Many shared how difficult it is to express humor or nuance in a second language.
3. Comfort Is Lost — and Rebuilt
Another participant shared that she left behind her sense of comfort. The ease of knowing how systems work. The familiarity of everyday life.
Comfort and confidence are deeply connected.
4. Migration Creates Generational Perspective
One woman reflected on how moving herself helped her better understand her immigrant parents. Experiencing relocation firsthand gave her empathy for struggles she hadn’t previously seen.
Living abroad doesn’t just change us — it reshapes how we see our past.
→ I’ve explored this idea of identity and belonging in a previous post on navigating identity after living abroad.
What We Carry With Us When Starting Over Abroad
But the suitcases weren’t only about loss.
They were also about what we chose to bring.
- Dreams of new beginnings
- Career changes
- Personal reinvention
- A different future for our children
- Curiosity and adventure
Life abroad in New Zealand — or anywhere — often begins with hope.
And while we may leave behind confidence or comfort, we carry resilience, courage, and the willingness to grow.
Rebuilding Confidence While Living Abroad
The biggest realization from this workshop was this:
We don’t just adapt to a new country.
We rebuild ourselves within it.
Rebuilding confidence abroad doesn’t happen overnight.
It happens in conversations.
In community.
In rooms where someone says something vulnerable, and others nod.
It happens when we realize we’re not the only ones who felt like we left something invisible behind.
That’s why spaces like Almost Local exist.
Not to solve relocation logistics.
But to normalize the emotional side of expat life.
The Real Question: What Are You Rebuilding?
If you’ve ever felt like you left a version of yourself behind when you moved countries, you’re not alone.
The real journey of living abroad isn’t only about what we lost.
It’s about what we are slowly rebuilding.
- Confidence
- Comfort
- Belonging
- Identity
🎙 In the latest episode of the Almost Local Podcast, “Two Suitcases: What We Leave & What We Carry,” I share deeper reflections from this workshop and what 14 women taught me about belonging.
Listen to the Full Episode here or on your favourite podcast platforms, such as Spotify and Apple.
☕ Are you building your life abroad in Auckland?
If you’re based in Auckland, join our next Almost Local Coffee Circle — a small gathering for international women navigating life abroad together.
Reserve your spot here. Limited spots to keep the space personal.
Because belonging doesn’t happen automatically.
It’s something we co-create.
FAQs About Living Abroad in New Zealand
What are the biggest emotional challenges of moving abroad?
Many people experience a loss of confidence, comfort, and social fluency when adapting to a new country. These changes are often invisible but deeply felt.
Rebuilding Confidence While Navigating Life Abroad in New Zealand
Rebuilding confidence happens through community, shared experiences, and gradually learning the social and cultural codes of your new environment.
Final words.
If you’re based in Auckland, remember you don’t have to navigate your life abroad alone. Join our Community’s upcoming Almost Local Coffee Circle or Life-in-between Workshops here.
Because fitting in is not the same as belonging.
xo Maria.
☕ You can read more about my story of moving to New Zealand and building a life in this corner of the world here.