Welcome back to Almost Local. I’m Maria, and today we’re diving into one of the most important parts of expat life: building community abroad.
This week, on the Almost Local podcast, I reflected on the questions we rarely ask ourselves when we move countries:
Who am I becoming? Where do I belong? Who are my people?
These questions led me straight into today’s topic, because behind every expat story, one theme always returns: We don’t thrive abroad alone — community is what holds us.
You can listen to the full episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or here:
⭐ Why Community Abroad Matters
Tonight is another Third Friday Circle meet-up in Auckland, a community gathering we started only months ago. What began as a simple WhatsApp group now brings together more than 100 women looking for the same thing: connection, belonging, and a soft place to land in a new country.
And the truth is, community abroad doesn’t need to be big or official.
It’s often made of small, gentle things:
• someone who checks in when it rains
• someone who remembers your coffee order
• someone who says, “Come join us.”
It can be deep friendships, casual friends, monthly catch-up friends, or even one single person who makes a place feel lighter.
Community is the real foundation of life abroad.
⭐ The Science Behind Loneliness Abroad
Research reveals why loneliness abroad can feel so overwhelming.
According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development — the longest study on happiness — the strongest predictor of long-term wellbeing is high-quality relationships, not success or achievements.
Neuroscience supports this, too.
Matthew Lieberman’s work shows that loneliness activates the same brain region as physical pain.
When you move abroad, you lose:
• your social ecosystem
• your familiar rhythms
• your emotional mirrors
Your brain feels that loss as danger, which explains:
✔ the emotional fatigue
✔ the mental overload
✔ the sense of being “behind” socially
✔ the need for deeper connection
You’re not imagining it; your brain is asking for belonging.
⭐ How to Make Friends Abroad (That Actually Stick)
If you feel disconnected or unsure where to begin, these community-building habits truly help:
1. Say Yes (Even When It Feels Awkward)
Familiarity is built through exposure.
👉 Related Post: 20 Tips for Building Community Abroad
2. Reach Out First
Most people feel lonely, too. Someone has to go first — let it be you.
3. Join Something — Anything
Language classes, Pilates, book clubs, coworking spaces…
Many friendships start simply because you were in the same room.
👉 Related Post: Is It Time to Move Back? Relocating to New Zealand
4. Don’t Limit Yourself to One “Type” of Friend
Cross-cultural friendships expand your sense of home.
5. Let Friendships Evolve or Fade Naturally
Connection abroad has seasons — and that’s normal.
6. Be Consistent
Community builds through repetition, not intensity.
One meaningful friend abroad can completely transform your experience.
⭐ The Third Friday Circle: A Real Example of Community Abroad
Every third Friday, we gather in Auckland for a casual community dinner. If you are reading this, come along! You can send us a message through the website, and we will include you in the next meeting!
The setup is simple! No pressure, no agenda — just women sharing life abroad.
There’s a moment I love:
When people arrive, their shoulders drop as if saying,
“Here, I don’t have to explain myself.”
That’s the magic of community abroad.
It creates spaces where you feel understood without having to translate your life.
The psychology behind it is simple:
• consistent meetups create trust
• third-spaces (cafés, libraries, coworking spaces) foster micro-belonging
• WhatsApp groups build everyday connections
• shared vulnerability deepens relationships
Your community abroad doesn’t start big — it starts with one brave moment of showing up.
⭐ You’re Not Behind — You’re Human
If you’re navigating life abroad, rebuilding your identity, or trying to find your people, remember:
You are not behind.
You are not alone.
Your community exists — and it often begins with something small.
For the full list of the 20 community-building tips, visit:
👉 How to Build Community Abroad: 20 Tips That Actually Work
Thank you for being part of the Almost Local community. Remember to subscribe to the podcast on your favourite platform: Spotify ~ Apple Podcasts. You can also support us by liking an episode or writing a brief review. The Almost Local gang truly appreciates!
Now I’m off for my morning coffee — and later I’ll share behind-the-scenes moments from tonight’s Third Friday Circle on Instagram.
Until the next episode,
Maria